The Art of Making Toast*

Step 1. Put a mug of milk in the microwave, because after all, no piece of toast should be enjoyed without a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

Step 2. Set the timer to three minutes. Be aware that your microwave counts up, and so must be stopped when it reads five-six minutes. Push start.

Step 3. Wait two minutes.

Step 3. Put two pieces of wheat** bread into the toaster. Be aware that your toaster does not toast without assistance.

Step 4. Place a blender*** into your dish-drying rack. This is vital.

Step 5. Move your toaster into close proximity of said dish rack, so the edge of the dish rack holds down your toast.

Step 6. Remove mug from microwave. Ensure that milk is too hot to drink.

Step 7. Add a healthy**** amount of hot chocolate mix.

Step 8. Stir.

Step 9. Bring mug containing hot chocolate and spoon upstairs.*****

Step 10. Return to your toasting toast. Check toast.

Step 11. See that toast is not done, and continue toasting toast.

Step 12. Upon completion of perfectly browned toast, spread with your topping of choice.******

Step 13. Take toast upstairs.

Step 14. Stir hot chocolate. It is now at perfect drinking temperature.

Step 15. Enjoy.*******



*I have this art down to a science, since I am part-scientist.
**Or white, if you must.
***Other heavy objects may be substituted for a blender.
****By healthy, I mean distinctly not healthy but most definitely delicious.
*****This must be done first, since going upstairs is a three-door process that must be undertaken with one free hand at all times.
******In any instance, your desired topping is peanut butter. No exceptions.
*******I am procrastinating writing my paper.